Never Hurt You
by blacktears
Summary: aww...Heero is uke!!!! ~plays with chibi uke Heero~ yaoi: Millardox1 and 3+4... Millardo promises never to hurt Heero, but...^^ read and find out! and if you read...review!!!!


Standard disclaimer applies.  
Notes: this is yaoi...1xMillardo and 3+4. There is a sex scene-but it's brief and I'd not consider it lemon...^^ a little angsty...I don't know what to think of this. -_-;; review?  
  
Never Hurt You  
  
  
  
"Your beautiful, you know that, right?" The soft voice and simple words warmed Heero's soul and he fought to keep a smile from spreading on his lips; he found to keep the Perfect Soldier's mask on, even as the pale hand gently stroked his cheek and unkept hair. Soft lips brushed against his. "Please smile, Heero," the voice spoke again. "Please let me see your emotion...I love you..." The lips deserted his as his lover pulled away, and Heero found himself under the intense stare of two ice-blue eyes. "please," the voice pleaded. "I love you...I'll never hurt you..."  
  
The smile tugged at Heero's lips and his eyes softened slightly as the mask cracked.  
  
The full lips of Heero's lover turned upwards at the small triumph, before Millardo pressed them firmly against Heero's in a passion filled kiss. "I knew you could do it," the Peacecraft murmured softly. "They'll be no secrets, no barriers between us...I love you."  
  
Heero opened his mouth and found words that he'd never spoken before escaping his throat. "I love you too."  
  
~*~  
  
Pale eyes glared at Heero with worry as gentle hands tightly wrapped the young man's broken hand. "Why would you break your own hand Heero?" Millardo's voice sounded stressed and the evident pain in it made Heero want to cry-a feeling he'd had only a few times in his life. He wasn't going to answer, but the question hung uncomfortably in the air between the two lovers. "Heero?" The blond man prompted softly.  
  
"I was depressed." Wing's pilot admitted, averting his eyes from the pain-filled gaze.  
  
"Ah." Millardo said in a flat voice, and then strong arms were wrapping around Heero's body in a loving embrace. "You know that if you ever need someone...I'm here." Millardo whispered in Heero's ear. "I don't want you to be hurt."  
  
"I know..."  
  
~*~  
  
Heero's eyes were squeezed closed as he gasped exquisette pleasure. Never had the Perfect Soldier been with a man-or woman for that matter, and he found the experience to be exciting and...amazing. Perhaps it was because he knew his partner loved him...Perhaps it was because he loved his partner.  
  
~*~  
  
"I'm sorry Quatre," Heero said in a gentle voice, filled with passion and genuine regret...his soldier's mask had been down for some time now, not exclusivly to Millardo anymore, either. "I'd love to come...But Millardo is taking me out to dinner for our one year anneversary. I really am sorry..."  
  
Strong arms wrapped around Heero's thin middle and a smile spread on the Japanese boy's face. "Would I be stealing you away from something tonight?" The familiar voice murmured in Heero's ear, the warm breath tickling the pilot.  
  
Shifting the phone slightly so that Quatre wouldn't hear his words, Heero replied: "Quatre is having a party for Trowa..."  
  
"Then go," these words were spoken louder as Millardo straighted somewhat. "I insist...we can celebrate the next night." The conviction in his boyfriend's voice made Heero's smile grow.  
  
"And then, Quatre," Heero spoke into the phone once again. "Perhaps I can make it..."  
  
~*~  
  
Fond memories shattered as Heero swam towards wakefullness. Opening his cobalt eyes, the colony-born fighter stared around the dark room with a faint frown. What was wrong? What had woken him?  
  
Beside him Millardo was sprawled beheath the light blankets on his stomach, breathing shallowly...nothing unusual there...  
  
A strong hand lifted of it's own accord to touch the right side of Heero's face gingerly...Oh yes, that was right. Millardo had hit him. Quietly, so as not to awaken the sleeping Peacecraft, Heero crept out of the large bed and padded across the violet carpet to the bathroom. He closed the wooden door before he flipped the switch, flooding the room in blinding light.  
  
Heero blinked several times until he found himself staring at his own reflection in the bathroom mirror. His cheek was red-slightly bruised.  
  
~*~  
  
"Dammit Heero, I told you not to do that!" Millardo yelled, glaring at Wing's pilot with clenched fists. "You con't need to hurt yourself when your depressed! It won't help."  
  
Heero's eyes narrowed slightly. "It helps me." he growled. "The pain is a distraction."  
  
"Oh is that what pain is?" Millardo hissed, his voice dangerously low...a tone that Heero had never heard his lover use before. Other people would be scared, but Heero just glared trouble in the eye. With little warning, Millardo's strong fist swng up, connecting solidly with the side of Heero's face.  
  
Heero gasped, thrown off balance by the unexpected punch, tasting blood in his mouth. He glared at his lover, who's pale eyes had grown large as he stared at the red mark on Heero's cheek.  
  
"Oh my God," Millardo whispered, reaching out a tentative hand. "I'm sorry Heero!" he grabbed the smaller boy into a crushing embrace. "I'm sorry-I just got so mad..."  
  
Heero fought back tears. The blow itself hadn't hurt-Heero's body had been bashed and battered...a simple punch like that was nothing...but hadn't Millardo said he'd never hurt him?  
  
~*~  
  
Staring in the mirror, Heero could feel the return of the tears that he'd forced aside before. Millardo had promised never to hurt him! Millardo said he loved him! And Heero...Heero loved Millardo.  
  
Quickly averting his eyes from the mirror and his offensive image, Heero found himself reaching out to turn on the shower. He felt oddly...dirty. The young man stepped under the warm water, letting it wash away his aches and worries.  
  
~*~  
  
Heero lay on the bed, naked as the day he was born, Millardo inside him, but this once, Heero truly felt nothing. He stared blankly at the ceiling, watching the shifting shadows and listening to his lover's heavy breathing. He knew he should be enjoying it...Heero had always been very responsive to Millardo's skills...but now, he couldn't enjoy it. Before, he had truly believed that Millardo loved him-and that gave sex something special...but now he just felt broken promises.  
  
Hands tightened around Heero's middle, and Millardo grunted, his pale eyes fluttering as his body was griped by the orgasm. Then the lean body relaxed on top of Heero. After a moment, Millardo rolled aside, one arm wrapping around the other boy in their usual sleep position. Heero rolled aside before the other man could get comfortable.   
  
"I'm going to take a shower," the Perfect Soldier mask was back, and Heero didn't wait for a reply. As he closed the bathroom door, he missed the puzzled and hurt expression that dominated Millardo's face.  
  
~*~  
  
"Heero," the whisper pulled Heero from a troubled sleep. A clyingly sweet scent permiated Heero's nostrels as something sliky brushed against Heero's pale cheek. Reluctantly, the boy opened his eyes to be greeted by what seemed to be hundred of long stemmed red roses, brushing lightly against his skin.  
  
"Happy anneversary, koi," Millardo greeted him with a smile. "Two years..."  
  
"Two years," Heero repeated, pushing himself into a sitting position, accepting the kiss Millardo offered him, and returning it half heartedly. "Happy anniversary." he repeated like a record, eyes resting on the flowers his lover had presented him.  
  
Millardo shifted on the bed, getting comfortable. "I was thinking that we would go out to Angel's tonight and then spend some time together..." he proposed with a smile. He knew that Heero had become quite attached to Angel's food, though the duo didn't go their often because of the price.  
  
Heero turned his head. "It sounds nice, Millard," Heero said softly, uncertaintly in his voice. "But I promised Quatre I would visit him this weekend."  
  
Millardo's face fell, disapointment invading his eyes. "But I thought perhaps..."  
  
"I'm sorry, but it's been nearly a year since I've seen the other pilots," Heero protested, pushing himself out of bed. "We can celebrate our anniversary another day." The perfect Soldier shoved past his lover to take a shower and get dressed.  
  
~*~  
  
Heero stood quietly outside the door of Quatre's largest mansion, waiting for the blond to answer the door. When the Winner heir did open the doors, Heero was unsurprised to find Trowa at his side.  
  
"Heero!" Quatre exclaimed with a smile. The blond hadn't changed much since Heero had last seen him-though he looked even more content and happy, if such a thing were possible. "It's good to see you!" The blond was saying as Heero stepped into the grand entry hall, shucking his jacket as he did so. "I was so surprised when I got your call...didn't you want to bring Millardo with you?" Puzzlement crossed the blond's face.  
  
"It's good to see you too, Quatre, Trowa," blue eyes flickered the the blond's tall lover breifly. "I wanted some time away from Millardo, to tell the truth...I'm actually kind of tired, could you show me where my room is? I'd like to rest before dinner..."  
  
"Of course, Heero," Quatre said, his voice betraying his uncertainty. "If you'd follow me..."   
  
~*~  
  
Heero lay on the feather bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind numb and blank. A knock on the door pulled him from his non-existant thoughts.  
  
The Perfect Soldier sat up, a small frown on his face. "Come in," he said loud enough that his voice carried through the heavy wooden doors. The double doors opened inwardly to admit Trowa, his face the usual mask of emotionlessness, his stance the usual perfect posture. "Yes, Trowa?" Heero asked while the clown closed the doors behind him.  
  
"Heero," Heavyarm's pilot said softly, his voice grave as he turned to face the other pilot. "You know I am not the most...expressive man," Heero nodded, but didn't speak. "Just as I know your not...however, it's fairly obvious that something is bothering you...I thought perhaps it would be good to get it out of your system."  
  
A brown eyesbrow raised, startled as Heero stared at his friend in surprise. "Get it out of my system? You mean tell you whats bugging me?" Trowa nodded silently. "Nothing is bothering me!" Heero protested, getting to his feet, a spark of anger building inside him.  
  
Emerald eyes locked on Heero's cobalt ones. "Thats a lie." Trowa stated flatly. "Even I can read that." Heero opened his mouth to speak, but Trowa, unexpectedly, continued. "Last time we saw you, you were much more alive and happy-now your worse than you were during the war!"  
  
Heero glowered a moment and turned away from his friend. "Nothing is the matter." He lied.   
  
For a moment, silence ruled the world. "All right," Trowa said softly, all passion that he'd displayed before gone in with a moment's notice. "But know you can't run from your troubles."  
  
Heero turned, ready to say something to Trowa about Millardo hitting him-in actuality, it likely would feel good to get his thoughts out in the open...but the heavy bedroom doors were already closing quietly behind the fleeing clown's back.  
  
~*~  
  
No one mentioned Heero's bad mood or depression again during his brief visit with Quatre and Trowa...and soon Heero found himself standing on his own doorstep, nervous to go inside.  
  
"You can't run from your troubles..." Trowa was right, and Heero knew it. He couldn't stay with Millardo if he didn't trust him-it wasn't fair for either man...and Heero didn't particularly want to leave...He took a deep breath and opened the door.  
  
Millardo looked up quickly from his seat on the living room couch, his blue eyes colder than usual. "Heero," he said softly, voice devoid of his usual passion.  
  
"Hello Millardo," Heero said softly, walking into the room, leaving his small overnight bag by the door. "I need to speak to you."  
  
Millardo nodded in return, blond hair shifting around his thin face. Watching his serious lover, Heero realized that he still loved him, even if Millardo had hit him. And he'd only done it once, and been completely sweet and loving ever since...Heero sat himself carefully on the green chair facing Millardo.   
  
"I know something has been bothering you," Millardo told his koi, leaning forward, preparing to listen. "Would you tell me what it is?"  
  
Heero nodded. "Yes," he forced. His throat seemed blocked and even that one word was hard to say in a steady voice. "Do you remember a couple of weeks ago, when I got depressed and cut myself?"  
  
Millardo nodded, his eyes closed. "Yes," he said. "I got mad and I-" He raised his face quickly, staring at Wing's pilot with sudden understanding. "You mean, all this has been because....?"  
  
Heero nodded slwoly, feeling the mask he'd glued in place slip away. All the thoughts he'd held to himself let loose, opening a floodgate in his mind. "Yes," he chocked. "You'd said you'd never hurt me...and I've been so..."  
  
Arm arms wrapped around him, and Millardo pulled him close. "I'm sorry, koi," The blond whispered, stroking Heero's dark hair. Heero clung to his lover's neck, fingers entwined in Millardo's silky locks. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry," Millardo cooed, his voice soft and soothing. "I'm sorry...and I understand now. I'll never do it again, I'm sorry...I really do love you...and I...I just wanted to protect you, even from yourself..."  
  
Heero sat up straighter, putting a hand to his love's lips. "Be still." he commanded in a louder and more steady voice. "All is forgiven. I love you..." Collasping back into his lover's arms, Heero felt happiness bloom in his heart once again. 


End file.
